I miss school– even the books without pictures.

The best thing about college, for me, was the ability (in fact, requirement) to take varying courses outside of my chosen disciplines. I studied English and Dance at university. Dance because I’ve been in love with dancing since I was small. There was no doubt in my mind that dance would need to be a part of my life for as long as possible, and, upon graduating high school, I knew I loved working with kids, so I saw myself as a teacher. It was my intention to get my BFA in Dance and a bachelor’s degree in some form of education, preferably elementary.

After my first semester, I realized that the two degree programs weren’t terribly compatible and it would take me 6+ years to finish, which wasn’t something I really wanted, especially since my scholarship only covered five years. So I thumbed through the course catalog and debated heavily between Philosophy, English, and Spanish. I’ve loved writing my whole life, and I love language. I decided on English with the intention of teaching high school some day. I ended up with an emphasis in creative writing, because I apparently can’t get out of the artsy side of myself. 😉

So here I am, working in retail and teaching dance classes to make money while I pursue unpaid to barely paid performance opportunities. I don’t write too much, at least not formally, but I still read and write a bit. I read nearly constantly. I can’t say I read books cover to cover. My reading isn’t easily quantified, but I read blogs and articles online, and I pick up random books and read bits and pieces until my mind wanders off on a new topic.

I’ve been out of school for a little over a year, and the what-am-I-doing-with-my-life question keeps popping up again and again. This post was spurred by my attempt to google studies or disciplines that encompass both the Humanities and CS-STEM. The problem is I love to learn. I like to put the puzzles of the universe together. I like to go down that rabbit hole again and again and see if I can’t go deeper or in a different direction each time.

I realized, my last year of college, so close to graduating that there was no way I could justify changing or adding a major or minor, that I loved linguistics. I saw linguistics as a melding of science, math, language, and culture. Just that sentence alone gets me excited. Now that I’ve been out of school, longing for that intellectual stimulation, I’ve started looking into linguistics and found myself traveling down the path of cognitive studies. I’m particularly interested in psycholinguistics (or neurolinguistics, I’m not sure exactly which is the one or if there is a professionally recognized difference). I wonder, though, if there are any other cross-discipline studies that encompass the many areas of scholarship.

I just like recognizing that everything is interconnected, and I want to find a way to explore that. Studying the human mind, consciousness, the way we think and behave, that touches on all sorts of things: philosophy, anthropology, history, math, science, physics, sociology, etc. I love that. I don’t know what I could possibly to do with it, or the why or how of it, but I do know that I need it.

I wish there was an easier way for people like me to find their passion. Personally, I just want to be sure. My problem was that, with every course I took, I could see myself doing and enjoying a profession related to it. I have too many interests, and I know the majority of people aren’t like that.

Most of my friends and fellow classmates complained about being forced to take classes outside of their interests. I didn’t understand that. Or, at least, I understood, but couldn’t relate.

Alice asks, what’s the point of a book without pictures? You can look at this in several ways of course. She’s a child, and it’s a very child-like thing to say. However, what’s the point of symbols without something to symbolize? What’s the point of sticking to one form of expression when there are so many others? And what’s the point of being so committed to one way of thinking, one road to travel down, that you miss the many other ways of seeing the same thing and the many other paths, or not yet existing paths, that interconnect and explore that world?

This is a conversation I’d like to have.

RB’s Alice

I love that they posted this, of course. Fantastic!!! It brings up a curious thought though, because so much of Alice’s adventures are about the words and the philosophy, it’s interesting to see it in an almost primitive basic format. It’s only about the movement and the aesthetics.

I just want to mention that I love the quote from Eric Underwood, “My feet are doing ballet. My upper body is just dancing.”

So much love for every ounce of this. ❤

Wonderland Weekly #11

Weekly wordy wanderings welcomed on Wednesdays.

Wonderland in the Media:

Does anyone remember this? Disney channel’s Adventures in Wonderland. I loved that show at one point in my childhood. 

Quote of the Week:

‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.’

I might take a hiatus from Wonderland Weeklies for a while. Just forewarning you. They aren’t working for me right now, and I feel like I need to think about them and improve them somehow. I’ll still try to post something at least once a week, however.

🙂

Wonderland Weekly #10

Weekly wordy wanderings welcomed on Wednesdays.

I forgot to do this last week. I’m not really sure what happened, but I didn’t realize until Friday that I hadn’t done a Wonderland Weekly. Whoops. 

Oh well, sorry about that. 

Anyway, this week is kind of exciting. There is a new Wonderland adaptation, which I have mixed feelings about, but here’s the trailer for ABC’s new Once Upon a Time spin off. What do you think?

Quote of the Week:

“If you don’t know where you are going any road can take you there.” ~Lewis Carroll 

A Cheshire Grin

People notice my smile. Apparently it is a wonderful smile. I don’t know why, but it’s true that many people, from complete strangers to friends, comment on it. I’ve even had people comment on my Cheshire grin. Apparently I smile mischievously on occasion.

Yesterday in ballet I was thinking about smiling. Teachers always try to remind you to at least look pleasant while you dance in class, and breathing and smiling are two things they often give as corrections to the very concentrated students. Moi included.

I used to have smile contests in my ballet classes when I was in high school dancing at a local studio. I almost always won, or tied for first with my friend Sarah. It wasn’t hard to do because dancing was so much fun.

Then I went to college for dance, and I realized how serious it was. I realized how behind I was and how hard I needed to work to reach the level of everyone else. I stopped smiling. 

Smiling in dance class felt wrong. If I was to prove how dedicated I was and how hard I was working, there could no longer be smiles. It was still fun. It is still fun, but it had to at least look like serious stuff. 

I am very concerned with what other people think of me, and I’m trying to correct that, but it’s a process. So the idea that my teacher thinks I’m not serious about dancing is unthinkable. I wonder how many other dancers are like this. I was looking around class yesterday when our teacher said to smile and no one did. (This also incites a bit of peer pressure in me.)

Why? Why not smile in class?

I miss those days of smile contests at the barre. I miss allowing myself to light up while expressing my passion. I’m still afraid that I’ll come across as the opposite of a serious dance student, but there is plenty to be serious about in this world. Dance is life, and life should be happy, and I want my smile to last in this place longer than I do.

`All right,’ said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowlybeginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. ~Lewis Carroll